Yes, we know this pic is not from the date in question, or even this year - just giving y’all an idea.

‘Ever Bigger’ Big Ben has now admitted ‘contact’ with the young lady in question, but he never got to home plate. Oh, is that how you address evidence that she hit her head (”she slipped in the bathroom”)? BR’s lawyers insists that he will “finish this case in a way that neither his liberty nor his future is damaged”. Wow, what about his GOOD NAME? At least college ball is on and the regional championships are taking place. The perfect distraction.

Oh, Crosby found his stick and gloves...

Episode 208

Busted!, Burdens! and Euphemisms Galore! with The Girls

Today The Girls are coming to you live from…the last season of great NCAA basketball before the tourney goes all Ben Roethlisberger on us and puffs out to ginormous proportions. We’re hoping for dominance from Wofford (wherever that is) and finally some great basketball to remind us of what the NBA used to be - fast, furious, full of steals and blocks and all around crazazy defense. Those were the days…

While the Winter Olympics are receding from memory, we question the location of the 2014 winter games. Putin is some genius. This is almost as good as selling snow to the eskimos! We’re packing already - nothing like a tropical getaway in February.

It’s all fun and games until we read the list of things they have to build for the games, prompting us to question the sanity of the IOC in determining a location. Can’t we reuse some already built facilities instead of constructing winter in a place that rarely if ever sees it? Wonder what Georgia has to say about this.

While the NFL free agency period was not as frenetic as years past mostly due to the uncapped year and the likely lockout, Ben Roethisberger doesn’t disappoint. Dude, stop thinking with your love log and start thinking with your concussed brain. Then there’s the man with the little burdens. Antonio Cromartie’s only burden is not being able to use condoms effectively - if at all. While 7 children have been attributed to his supreme lovin’ skills, there are still 5 pending paternity suits to deal with…that makes a dozen little Cromarties running around.

While we don’t want to make light of Ben Roethlisberger’s possible assault charges from two women (nor his propensity for drinking a keg or two a day based on the pictures that are floating around…can you say PUFFY?), but bringing children into this world a la Antonio is way more disturbing. The Jets should have said, “We’ll give you your $500,000 but you got to get neutered.” After free agency, the next thing we have to look forward to is the union of Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens. Can we please run the marketing for the Bengals if TO signs? Please? We’ll pay you.

So NASCAR says have at it and Carl Edwards says, “Who am I to disobey?” We have to admit, with two Jimmie Johnson victories, the only reason we’re talking about NASCAR is because of Carl Edwards. Job well done lads. Now on to Bristol which is always an entertaining ride. Hopefully they’ll have their caution lights working.

Ahhh, the smell of beer, chew, mens’ bodies sweating all over each other…Spring Training is in full bloom. And nobody gets a better view than A-Rod who must think that stretching is more beneficial if you are closer to the one you love.

Oops, that was the wrong picture, but we couldn’t find the haunch-to-haunch with Jeter. A Rod probably had his lawyers ‘destroy the evidence’ of his love.

As the Twins lick their wounds over the potential season-ending injury of Joe Nathan, Milton Bradley shows why he ought to be next. Blaming Chicago for your poor play….specifically what, Milton? The lake effect, the height of the Sears Tower? Was your Trump condo not done on time? We can’t believe Seattle fell for you. Here’s hoping the humidity changes your nasty attitude.

After marveling at the inability of the NHL to enact a militant and easily enforceable rule regarding hits to the head, we come through on our promise last week and give you a reason to watch the NBA. Okay, so it’s only ONE guy in the NBA. It’s a start. Then we promptly blow our good karma by ripping into LeBron.

Finally, in this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID, we say Lindsay who? So grab your ego, your head and your zipper wookie…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 11th, 2010 at 8:29 am and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.