We hit the elaborate recording studio armed with an insane number of shocking events in the world of sport that took place this week. We laughed, we cried, we recorded a podcast about it. We could have recorded six. Thanks for all the mail this week - it warms our cold little hearts. But you can stop sending the Greg Oden pictures. We had bad dreams. To reward you for your support we gift to you this audio gold…

Episode 202

Faux Bowl, Faux Pretty and Naked Players with The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from the Faux Bowl! Where players you’ve never heard of or those you’ve made fun of square off in a nonsensical game that matters NOT. Oh, yay.

thanks to t-chest for this image

We’ll beat this horse till it’s rice pudding. We fans want a banquet. A celebration of the too-short football season that came and went before our wings got cold. Give us, the players and the league a chance to sit back and drink it all in before spring training hits. This is not rocket science - a part Oscars/part Golden Globes event that uses the NFL Films archives to its fullest will be a memorable red carpeted evening for all involved.

thanks to celebrations-img.zaah.net for this image

We don’t desire the Pro Bowl that has 17 starters running for a doctor’s note so they can avoid injury. We want a partay. Mr. Goodell, if you see a petit blonde and a fiery redhead storming your office know that it is because we love this game. And we know what we want because we are NFL fans. As NASCAR has come to realize, the fans know what the sport needs. That’s why there’s focus groups. Because the dudes in the tower can’t truly know what those in front of the flat screen feel in their bones.

Ah, bones. Makes us think of Greg Oden. Or David Beckham! He who was manhandled by Elana Di Cioccio. She was just trying to validate that which was stated by Mrs. Beckham, but that doesn’t make it right. No matter how proud you are of your bodily achievements, there is no place for uninvited groping. Leave that to Posh.

Thankfully in all this madness we have Bode Miller. He’s playing it safe. Gunning for some Olympic glory whilst dreaming of the US Open. We have no beef with his desire to conquer the world of tennis, we only wish that Terrell Owens would also take up the challenge of trying to qualify for the US Open. Girls can dream. And so we do.

Do you have this in periwinkle?

Dreaming of a cure for your tender muscles? We’ve got the answer for you in this week’s Fan-Tutor. It involves much therapy and some super thin tape. For real…its gonna cure cancer. Also in this week’s sports podcast we cover stab-resistant vests, strep throat, naked hockey players (yawn…aren’t they always looking to get naked?), bitten fingers, and Alexander Ovechkin saying SEE YA to the NHL. On the hard court we have naked pictures (Robin’s NOT impressed by Greg Oden’s self-portrait…which makes you wonder about Robin’s husband), All-Star biatching, and man-brow-scaping. Oh, THE HORROR! But what do you expect when it’s the NBA and it’s January?

thanks to the AP and hawksprman for terrifying us with these pics

We hand-hold you through the NFL, where retirement talk abounds, the Pro Bowl peeves players, Favre flirts with the Universe, and the league flirts with ticking off the networks. Oh, and there’s that little dust-up when a man comes home to his castle only to find that the “maid” has canceled cable. Which means ESPN. Finally, in this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID, we dish on the new pretty.

Don’t blame us for this pic…thanks to media.ebaumsworld.com

So grab your kitchen knife (is there just one?), your implants and a shrimp on the barbie…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 28th, 2010 at 11:01 am and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.