Get ready for MLB to tweak the Wild Card as they watch the NFL take control this month. With only 1 sorta-compelling pennant race we’re left to be entertained on the gridiron…and the NFL has delivered. It’s a nice break before the playoffs suck us in. So take in Episode 184, take a break from baseball for the next few days, and stand strong - The Girls are about to cover you in kisses for making September our best month ever! Most hits (we might even break 1 million visits this month!), most downloads and loads of fun…we thank you, we owe you and we will dedicate our lives to entertaining you.

Now sit down and listen…

Episode 184

Twidiots, Party Passes and QBs on Fire with The Girls

Today The Girls are coming to you live from…the mouths of babes. Robert Henson - ye of nary a regular season down in the NFL - propped his open wide and became The Fantoo Girls inaugural TWIDIOT, with his nonsensical rant about the booing Redskins fans. Our favorite part? “No I didn’t play but I still made more than you in a year and you’d switch spots with me in a second.” Um, no, we flat out wouldn’t.

Many in attendance at the Redskins game spend Henson’s annual salary for their summer rentals on the Cape. And, unlike Henson, many have a set of skills that will allow them to earn for decades, hopefully with annual increases along the way. Some are smart enough to save for a rainy day instead of making it rain every day. Far as we can tell, the dude makes under $416,000 a year. Knock off 10% for his agent and he’s in the high 300s. Not shabby. But when you factor in his questionable smarts, the opportunity to earn post-NFL plummets. See you at Wendy’s buddy. (McDonalds wouldn’t have you.)

From babes we move to lockouts of the NBA variety. The refs are put in the corner in favor of less-demanding, and perhaps less qualified, D-league refs who are psyched for the shot at the big leagues. We’d make more noise about this if it weren’t for the fact that we’re sure the ‘old’ refs will be back on the court in time for meaningful games. See, if there’s one thing we’ve learned during our Fantoo Girls sports podcast odyssey it’s that basketball doesn’t matter - to us, the players, the refs, the league-at-large, or even Khloe Kardashian for that matter - until February. So don’t break a sweat about it. Or tweet your pretty little head off.

We could talk about the Chase for the Cup, and we do, but it’s football that has us under its spell this week. Astonishingly, we are able to talk about more than just Party Pass-gate. Stuff like Kurt Warner’s amazing and record-breaking performance, the Miami Dolphins heart-breaker of a loss under the watchful eyes of their new, hyper-involved minority owner Mark Anthony, and the brilliance that is curvy Rex Ryan. When the players finally get up the nerve to dump Gatorade on him it’s going to result in a tidal wave.

But he deserves it for the voice mail message, the delivering on trash talk, and most importantly the embrace of the simplicity of the game of football. While other coaches are impressing themselves with late-night diagrams on napkins of glitzy takes on the Wildcat, Ryan and the Jets probably eat Cheetos, watch an ‘adult film’ and call it a night. Just like the good ol’ days.

Then they hit the field and focus on something really groundbreaking (especially at the collegiate level) …impenetrable red zone defense. Both the Patriots and the Texans have a sweet goose egg against the Jets in the red zone, and the Jets are still without their best pass rusher, Calvin Pace, who is serving a four-game suspension for violating the NFL’s (chuckle here) substance abuse policy. Makes Mangini look a little ‘off’, don’t you think? As in off-base, off-kilter and off the playoff radar. We’ll take Buddy Ryan over Bill Belichick as our mentor any day.

New York is also cheering the ‘other’ football team who took it to Dallas at the opening of their shiny bauble/death stadium. Word on the street is the brass call it the “Death Star”…they may want to change that nickname after the disastrous launch of that super-fun Party Pass idea that Jerry Jones came up with, probably after a few too many margaritas. 30,000 people without seats or sight-lines? All they can do is crane their neck to stare at a screen that hovers 90 feet above them while being sandwiched by drunks in the hot Dallas night? Our conclusion is that no one at Camp Cupcake dares to suggest to Jerry that any of his ideas are recipes for disaster. We’re pretty sure the next target for those wishing to cause mass-destruction will be Cowboys Stadium.

And it’s likely Tony Romo will be relieved.

As an aside - the Redskins will lose this weekend, giving the Lions their first win. Count on it. And then Matthew Stafford can take Robert Henson out to the parking lot and show him his Maserati GranCabrio. From our mouths to Lombardi’s ears.

We cram in a Fan-Tutor thanks to the never-can-die Michael Crabtree story. Thanks for writing in Eliza of Dade County. And we feel for you given the new Marlins Stadium, which is being built on the tax-payer’s back. How’s this for a pitch? “You give us the cash to build this super cool new baseball stadium and we’ll let you buy tickets to see the games!” Hmph. Something’s not right. If you live in Miami please don’t buy tickets to the Marlins games, don’t buy merch, don’t support the team in any way, because it is criminal for you to have to invest your dollars in a stadium with the promise of ZERO return. That sales pitch went out with the recession.

I am a legally insane killer - can I go to the county fair?? Yes!!!

Finally, in this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID, we actually feel bad for Plaxico Burress in light of the haphazard treatment of criminally insane convicted killers! So grab your mace, throw away those
Marlins tickets and get ready for more Twittertwats…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 24th, 2009 at 10:04 am and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.