Aside from Carol’s math skills, The Girls are on their game this first true week back from vacation. We are hoping that we don’t know the star of our opening topic, as that would be a shame. But we’re all human and everyone makes mistakes.

Episode 181

Purloined Rings, Fashion in Flushing and High School Fine With The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from the bowl - the toilet bowl that is. Yeah, that would be the one that ate the World Series Ring left behind by a Phillies marketing exec who was in too much of a rush to put it back on after taking care of business in the stall. The stall would be a regular ole’ stall in Citizen’s Bank Park in Philadelphia. So many questions, but none more pressing than why a marketing exec is WEARING the diamond and ruby ring. Shouldn’t it be under lights somewhere, revolving on a platform? All of that toiling in the gem mines of Indonesia…for nothing.

**Update** A janitor has been arrested for nabbing the ring and not returning it after cleaning the bathroom. Hey, maybe he just wanted to hang onto it for a little while. Maybe he was going to take it home and CLEAN the $10,500 giant bauble!

The US Open is upon us and we are taking in every grunt, top spin and broken racquet. It’s early, but there are already upsets to discuss and bad coaches to dis. At least Maria Sharapova did not disappoint with her dress ‘inspired by the architecture of New York’ and her headband ‘inspired by Studio 54.’ The look is just right for the crowd clubbing it up at Flushing Meadows.

Oh, and The Naked Chick Erin Andrews will be going on Oprah to talk about her ordeal in front of tens of millions of viewers - so that she can put it all behind her. Robin thinks her intentions are pure, but Carol smells a publicity blitz with an inevitable re-breaking of the story. At least she’ll have more viewers than Shaq on ‘Shaq VS.’ Gotta wonder who green-lighted a one hour program with possibly the most uncharismatic athlete out there. He could learn a few things from TO.

Oh wait, we found out this week that Shaq is NOT the most uncharismatic. Guess who is?

The head of the NHL PA was outed (no, not in that way!) by the 30 player reps. At 3:00am. The Girls say, never go to bed angry. Get ready to watch hockey ‘classics’ in 2011, because there might be no live action. But at least the never-ending trough of college football drama will keep is duly occupied.

Really, who has this kind of time/cash/obsession? Who is this ‘Linebacker Alumni’?

Over in the MLB, the pennant races are heating up, but it seems like the division leaders will march in uncontested. Could Joe Mauer help get the Twins in there for a wild card berth? Still a lot of time left. Now if only someone would tell the Dodgers that Jim Thome was playing in the AL. Was LA only looking for a pinch hitter? That’s like taking an option card in poker even when you know you have the winning hand. But if it helps a Dodgers/Yankees World Series (ahem, Joe Torre/Yankees World Series), we’re all for it - even if the Yankees are garnering some good karma by reducing ticket prices by up to 90% during the playoffs. What’s that we smell? Could it be desperation to sell those awesome ‘Legends’ seats???

NFL, oh NFL. Did ye know that Favre was coming back even in April, when you created the schedule pitting the Browns (Eric Mangini) against the Vikings (Brett Favre) in Week 1? Wouldn’t it be a shame if the game was - GASP! - blacked out in Cleveland due to poor attendance? Oh, right, who gives a crap about the hometown fans. Oh wait, who gives a crap about the Browns outside of Cleveland? Let’s all Twitter about it and then blog during the games. Oh wait…

In this week’s It Had To Be Said, The Girls discuss the undergarment promising to give you back that ‘high school fine’ look. So grab your racquet and your PDA, it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

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