Premature Sanchez, Scripted Strahan and Endearing TO with The Girls!
Orlando takes the first game, in Cleveland, against a tired-looking LeBron & Co. We just had a feeling that the Cavs would feel the pinch of real competition after their decades-long layoff. Sure, LeBron had a great game, but the show of weakness (unable to leave the court right away due to cramping) does not bode well. We smell blood in the water.
Before we get into podcast magic, there is terrible news to reports both in the MLB and PGA. The wife of Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher, Scott Schoeneweis’, was found dead yesterday by their 14-year-old daughter. No details on cause of death, but so very sad. And Phil Mickelson is taking a leave of absence form the PGA tour to support his wife, Amy, in her battle with cancer. Good luck to both families.
Episode 166
Premature Sanchez, Scripted Strahan and Endearing (but never-the-less totally destructive) TO with The Girls!
Today The Girls are coming to you live from a new case of premature brandulation; that of Mark Sanchez, who has made the “bold” decision to appear in GQ Magazine staring intently into nothingness, leaning in close to a bosom taped to appear large on an otherwise stick-thin model, and deftly pulling up his white mesh Henley top.
All of it is perfect bulletin board material for the Patriots, Dolphins and Bills. Which leads us to TO. Has an NFL player so perfected the pageant wave without every being in one? That is the question that haunts us after watching Terrell Owens sashay through the Buffalo airport. Just know this one thing: this is Phase One. Phase two involves planted stories. Phase Three focuses on the complete and total destruction of chemistry. Phase Four? Please. Spandex. Blacktop. But this time with an exercise ball. Swear. It will happen. But enjoy the one great season you get out of TO, Buffalo fans.
In This and That we also take on Tony Kornheiser, Shaq as the eternal student, the other Triple Crown and the one that spurned Obama…and we’re not talking John McCain. Trust us, it’s a fully packed sports podcast. We even dish on Michael Vick, but other more respected news organizations have us totally beat on that story. Then it’s off to the NBA which has delivered on excitement, physical play, great match ups and the Muppets.
Even the NBA Draft Lottery was overshadowed by this year’s playoffs. Will the Nuggets be able to keep their emotions intact? Will Kobe get the last laugh and rap about it? Will Courtney Lee, our Rookie Look, make the difference for the Magic? Or will LeBron reduce Dwight Howard to a puddle since he’s had 10 days to shine his crown? We give you the answers, all the while wondering what The Answer is doing with his free time. Then we take our skates to the ice and wonder if anyone can take down the Red Wings. Sadly, not the Blackhawks, but they have an insane fan base and a team you can fall in love with, so please do. The Hurricanes have a supremely talented goalie in Cam Ward, but they also have a Staal brother who has won a Cup. That doesn’t bode well when the Staal parents must be wishing that Jordan can have his very own date with Stanley. When it comes to brothers playing each other in the playoffs, it’s the parents with which we must empathize…or just be jealous of. Pick it.
That all leads us to the MLB where Lord “I’m Delicious” Selig grants us the wish of having earlier start times to the World Series games. Bud, we’ll find a way to bi-otch about that gift, too. It’s in our genes. But The Girls thank you profusely because the older we get the more important sleep becomes. Forget the kids, for whom all things are done, we want you focused on us. And only us. Of course, we forgive Joe Maddon his error, as did Andy Sonnanstine. Everyone has a hard time with numbers after a night of drinking Prisoner.
We totally forgive you, as long as you don’t overtake our beloved Phils. No worries with the Mets there! They are making up ways to Maverick early and often. If Mavericking is even possible at this point in time. Three balks in one game? We have a theory and it’s medical. Missed base? That happens all the time to those who forget the basics of the game. In the other new and unnecessary stadium in NYC we have a rebirth, which is so Kabbalah. A-Rod, with Kate ‘I only date guys who are finding themselves in their adult years’ Hudson, has taken the Big Apple and batted it out of the park. Four homers in as many games. Sweet. We love a tainted come back as much as we love Tainted Love.
Finally, in our effort to get you back to your life on time, our IT HAS TO BE SAID: The tabloids must die. Fureal. So grab your lineup, some popcorn and Bert and Ernie…it’s time to talk sport with The Girls!
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