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Episode 165

The Enablers, The Thief and Cat Fight with The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from…Wack-A-Mole, the MLB’s smash new board game where anyone who’s willing to spill a bean or two gets…oh, we don’t want to ruin the surprise. Why won’t Major League Baseball come out and proactively dump the entire load of knowledge surrounding steroids. All of it - innuendo, fact, hearsay, truth - just put it out there and be done with it. We don’t need nor want to be tortured by this slow leak which is, quite frankly, screwing with our ability to enjoy the season of baseball. We want to get back to who trips while running the bases, who steals home, and why small ball kills long ball any day.

But we pause from our regularly scheduled shredding of the This and That of Sport to bring to you a Brett Favre moment:

Brad, who? Man…my arm hurts.

Jason Taylor tucks away the slim cut sateen pants in favor of some time in the sun with The Tuna. Can’t you see it? A field of wildflowers, a soft breeze, and into the frame lumbers Bill Parcels. his jiggle so, um, flirty, running straight into the outstretched arms of Jason Taylor. But before he hits the red zone he runs straight into a water pump. He coughs up his Big Mac and falls into the daisies. Jason rushes to his aid but can’t find him in the thick sherbet-colored field. Back at the facility they consider it a near-death experience and bond over the dotted line. In reality, Jason came crawling back clutching a notebook filled line-by-line with, ‘I’m Never Gonna Dance Again, Coach’. Good luck at Landshark Stadium, Jason!

Tiger Woods is getting the Lindsay Lohan treatment by the papp…uh, cameramen on the tour. Who thought we’d ever see a pale, tired, and basically wrecked dude in red? Golf is entering a new chapter as the Links God, Tiger, attempts to retake his position of power. And there, off in the distance, but super easy to see thanks to his neon argyle attire, is John Daly. Oh, let us dream, okay?

Hey-ho, Buffalo! It’s the T hO Show. You know the producer broke out in a sweat when that phone call came in. We’ll have to wait till July to see the finished product, but we doubt we’ll be in the dark for long. There’s bound to be some public dust-up coming to a drive-in nearby.

The Rockets’ streak of four wins against the Lakers when Yao-less came to an end as the Lakers showed some teeth. Also showing teeth, and pointing fingers, were Mark Cuban and LaLa Vasquez.

Both enigmas - she a cat-fighter extraordinaire and judge on the VH1 show ‘Charm School’, and he a nerdy, kinda athletic, frat-like, yet super successful uber fan/owner. While they snap Denver loses a chance to sweep, but the series gains some ‘must-see’ status. The Magic melts against the Celtics, but the loss is easier to take then the postgame presser-trashing of coach and team. Keep it together kids, and if you’re going to go out, please do so with class.

Well, Game 7 has come and gone since the recording of this sports podcast, and the results weren’t pretty. The Pens tallied 6 and the Caps squeezed out two. Thud. A total disappointment. And not because of the Capitals’ loss, although we were pulling for Ovie, but because the game was a blowout. Should’ve saved an overtime for this one, boys. Now our hopes rest with the Blackhawks, as the youthful tandem of Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews lead them past the Canucks. Kane scored the first hat trick of his career in Game 6. Congrats, Kane. We bet the chicks are lining up.

But can he steal four bases in a single game? Taking home in a single (or twenty) bound(s)? Jason Werth can, and good thing he did because the Phils got spanked by the Dodgers on Wednesday, 9-2. Stealing home is so ‘take that’. While the ball is being lobbed back to the pitcher’s mound, Jason speeds towards home. Run scored and the batter is still at the plate. That is a strike-blocker.

Let’s hope our Rookie Look, Donnie Veal practices for that one, cuz he’s sure been blind-sided a lot by the age of 24. The Pirates’ relief pitcher is content with the Hello Kitty backpack, thrilled with his big league opportunity, humbled by the grief in his life, and is gaining back some control on the mound. We hope for smoother seas ahead for Donnie Veal. We await the many nicknames sure to come. And since he came via the Rule 5 draft we give it the Fan-Tutor treatment. A little knowledge goes a long way, but please don’t think we guarantee the gaining of knowledge via listening to this podcast.

MLB was so appalled by Bobby Jenks’ behind-the-batter pitch they fined him big time. A whole $750USD. Step off. Mean it. That’s like one-eighth of what he earned to throw that pitch. Snap.

Also on the mound, we throw in a revisit to the ambidextrous pitcher, Pat Venditte and a meet and greet with the new resident of Belvedere of Westlake Assisted Living Facility Josh Faiola, he of the Lake Erie Crushers fame. They of the Independent Frontier League. C’mon keep up. Or just listen in. So grab your teeth, if you need to, an aversion to all things LaLa, and somebody’s hand…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

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