We’ve gone from this…

to this:

It’s no secret to those who frequent the world of Fantoo that the shootout during the regular season in hockey curdles the blood of one redhead and is fully embraced by one blond. Settling the outcome of a game with a skills competition seems like an awfully convenient shortcut to appease those who pay the bills - the television networks, and to get everyone at the game home at a decent hour. (By now all Mensa members have figured out who the author is.) Next to having the MLB All-Star game determine home field advantage for the World Series, this has to be the least thought out solution to a bona fide problem in all of sports. I welcome you to challenge me on that one.

According to Stu Hackel, who writes a killer NHL blog for the NY Times, TSN’s Bob McKenzie stated that “the N.H.L.’s Competition Committee was apparently one vote away ‘in the last year or so’ from recommending a change in Stanley Cup play. This change would have had the teams go to four-on-four hockey after the first overtime period.”

In light of the triple-overtime in the Ducks VS Red Wings game, I can see how the point would be raised again, but it pains me to know that those in the league offices are still thinking about tinkering with the game in this fashion during the playoffs. I can think of at least a dozen things that the NHL can do to bring more fans to the sport, but trust me, four-on-four after the first overtime expires during the playoffs isn’t one of them. Here’s a sampling:

1. shrink the goalie equipment - 11% smaller is a nice touch, but not enough 2. no snow, no hockey team 3. give Ovechkin a daytime talk show 4. tint the ice - the white on my supersized TV fries my eyes 5. scrap the shootout during the regular season in favor of one twenty-minute overtime going to four-on-four after ten minutes (sure, some may end in a tie, but at least they play actual hockey) 6. ejection for hits from behind and hits to the head 7. enforce goalie interference and require instant replay review regardless of whether a goal is scored or not 8. coaches get two challenges each 9. referee is ejected if he favors a star player (a girl can dream…can that go for every league?) 10. institute no-touch icing, duh

There’s ten. If Ron Duguay was having a bottle of red with me I bet we could come up with 10 more starting with a better points system and losing one official - four is overkill.

More often than not, rules changes in sports benefit the game, protect the athletes and improve the entertainment value. But when the outcome of the game is decided by something other than the actually playing of the game in its natural state, I start to question the motives of those making the change. Anyone who loves the sport of hockey has to bristle at the notion of a game being decided by a shootout. Sure, we all hate ties, but how often does it happen? Enough to change the very nature of the game? Oy, our devotion to instant gratification rubs me the wrong way.

You may say it isn’t so now, but four-on-four in the playoffs will eventually lead to a shootout as hockey, like other sports, competes for eyeballs with short attention spans. Before that hellish scenario unfolds, I suggest the league review my Rule 1. It’s the only fix needed. Shrink the goalie equipment to a reasonable size. Bullet-proof vests can be worn under a t-shirt, and I just saw Billy Mays spouting off about some half-inch gel protector that allowed him to hit his hand with a sledgehammer. He didn’t even wince.

So don’t tell me the equipment is to protect the goalie. It’s to protect the goal. I’d rather see amazing saves, straight through as many epic overtimes as needed, decide the outcome of a game.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 4th, 2009 at 9:23 pm and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.