We’re on the fan bubble - NBA and NHL seasons are coming into their final stretch and then *pop* it’s all baseball, all the time, 6 months in a row (oh, and then post-season). Let’s hope the hockey and basketball playoffs give us more thrills than NCAA Basketball did this year. That means YOU Flyers-Penguins and Hurricanes-Devils. John Madden, to Carol’s great dismay, is retiring. No more Turducken, no more booming voice, no more RV burning fossil fuel across the nation. Ahhhh…Turducken, we’ll miss you ripping that thing apart on the Thanksgiving broadcast.

Episode 161

Inane Fantasy Arbitration, April Madness, Dubious Coaching Choices and a Farewell to Baseball Nostalgia With The Girls!

After being away too long, The Girls have penetrated the inner sanctum of Man Cave and found a new inhabitant – the Fantasy Baseball Arbitrageur. Seems that the debates that rage before, during and after the season sometimes cannot be simply set aside. Not anymore. Bad feelings arise, tension flares and the Arbitration committee is called in. Thank God, because we almost thought that this was just a hobby and people were not devoting enough time to fantasy leagues….

Angel Cabrera wins the Masters and Tiger stalks off the course, terse in his defeat. But the real drama? Phil Mickelson was, gasp!, smiling after he lost.

Oh NO!!!! Armageddon! How dare he, player of an individual sport, SMILE when he loses? How dare he lose? How dare he smile? How dare he be happy? HOW DARE HE!!??? (Seriously, how much money was there on Mickelson? Haven’t y’all learned by now that Lefty will leave you high and dry just as surely as the contractor will rip the roof off your kitchen in the rainy season and then leave on vacation?)

The Girls pay their respect to The One and Only Harry Kalas and nod their hear to Shane Victorino, Ryan Howard and the Phillies organization for showing their respect in different, multiple and thoughtful ways. Just hope those were tobacco ‘heaters’… Kalas, you will be sorely missed.

Isaiah Thomas has been hired again – by the top-notch basketball program of Florida International University. He’s donating his salary to the school and just trying to get back to game. But we think something still isn’t right. FIU co-eds, keep your distance. Over in NASCAR, Joey Logano, teen sensation (did he just get his driver’s license?) wins his 2nd career victory in Nashville. Dale Jr., where are you?

We explain the illegal substitution rule in the NHL, express love/hate for Sean Avery and reflect on some of the last-minute coaching changes in the NHL. The playoff picture is set and the most grueling playoffs in sports has commenced. Get ready for hate-fests between the Canadiens and Bruins as well as the Flyers and Penguins. We thrill in the last-minute sneak-in of the Ducks as it gives us more time to peruse the ultra-hip Chris Pronger website. It is simply not to be missed.

The NBA has also clarified its playoff picture. Too bad for the Hawks, having to withstand the force that is Dwyane Wade in the first round. Maybe it will be quick and painless. Unlike the path the Celtics will have to take to advance. Possibly without Garnett for the post-season, they are rudder-less. Action starts Saturday.

Finally, MLB. The Kansas City Royals went all-out for the fan in their $250K RENOVATION of Kauffman Stadium. Amusement park, interactive games, KC Royals history area, player interaction, batting cages, mingling/bar areas in the outfield where you can also watch the game, etc etc etc. Hear that? Renovation. Now, check this, the Yankees built a brand new stadium for 1.5 Billion (heard of it?) that has ‘amenities’ listed as a ballroom, wider halls, more suites and conference rooms. Fun!!!!!!! Thanks, Yankees.

Speaking of the Yankees, they just cannot seem to catch a break from fate as she rains down bad karma from on high. Will they be the next Cubs? Will the Mets be the next Cubs? It’s not looking good for either team. It’s going to be a strange season, starting with the passing of Harry Kalas, Nick Adenhar and Mark Fidrych. At least we’ll always have Nick Swisher.

We close with sage advise that is always true and gives us all the more reason to want relocate to the land of leis, pineapples and Don Ho. So pour your Scorpion in coconut shell and clear your calendar for the playoffs – it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

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