Volcanoes may be bursting at the seams, the economic crisis is still in full-tilt, and A-Rod has still not cleaned out his closet, but The Girls are together again! Everybody breathe…

In this week’s podcast we catch you up. we catch each other up and we go at it, as you’ve come to expect.

So, without further blather we gift you the glistening podcast. Hold tight!

Episode 158

Favre Returns, Selig Scolds and Ovechkin Smokes with The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from…the real reason why Robin went to Vail: to find A-Rod. Cuz that’s what she does when on vacation. She made a few phone calls, got bounced around to a few different brothels and came up empty-handed. Thank goodness! So she headed home to join her partner in crime once again for an award-winning Fantoo Girls sports podcast.

And just like the old days, we start off with a little TO, a splash of Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson…and what’s that mystery ingredient? It’s FAVRE!

He’s baaaaccckkkkk! Sort of. Because Eric Mangini loves him so, he has invited Favre to the Browns’ training camp to provide guidance and structure to the quarterbacks as they duke it out for the starting job. Hmmm…structure and guidance from a guy who got all game-ready in an undisclosed location, didn’t mix with the ‘regular folk’ (they would be his teammates), and eschewed process and procedure. Hey, they didn’t call him the Gunslinger for nothing. And about how long do you think it will be before he throws them both to the ground and steals their jerseys so he, and only he, can run out of the tunnel for that first game? As long as it takes to pull on your Wranglers. Bet on it.

And bet on the return of Lance Armstrong, because a little collar bone fracture is not going to take him down, much to France’s dismay. The superhuman dude will heal from surgery in record time, get two nurses pregnant without penetration and come out of the hospital looking younger, fitter and more fabulous. The Olsen Twins are jealous. We’re just praying to Phil Ligget that he’ll be ready for the Tour.

Thanks to boston.com for this image, sort of.

While March Madness has The Girls fully entertained, the obscene language spilling forth from coaches’ mouths (Thad Matta, you’ve been warned. But we can’t blame you because your name sounds like a curse word.) has got to stop. It’s so not sexy, and it definitely doesn’t accomplish the mission. Clean it up. And we mean the language and the NCAA rules violations!

Seriously. 1,565 calls and texts is more than a rules violation, UCONN. It’s called stalking, and it affects the psyche of the student athlete. So nobody should be surprised when the entitled student athlete assaults a female and then violates the restraining order against him within minutes after it was issued. Somebody bring the adults-on-duty back to earth before they ruin the minds of our future slackers leaders. As an aside, if you polled 100 people and asked them where Siena College is located, how many would know? That’s what we thought.

Anyway, while everyone rips on Duke (and we thought baseball was our national pastime), we salute Gerald Henderson. The guy is fearless, a leader and a darn good golfer. Duke’s on a tear, but the ‘Nova Wildcats are hoping to claw their very familiar eyes out starting somewhere around 10:00PM EST on Thursday night. Yay. Watch it go quadruple overtime so the gross domestic product (whatever the heck that is) tanks again.

Another collegiate baller to keep an eye on is DeJuan Blair who believes what his coach told him: “Son, there’s a million dollars stuffed in that ball. You get it and it’s yours.” If he makes it to the NBA the guaranteed contract will kill that desire, but right now he is motivated by the pretend-coin and averaging 12 rebounds per game. Way to work the glass, DeJuan.

Hey! Curt Schilling retired! Apparently Brett Favre was not amused. We won’t miss him on the mound, but we love the fact that he’ll have more free time to entertain us with his musings. Curt is one of those guys The Girls would LOVE to have beers and ‘dish’ with. (Call us…)

We also reiterate some suggestions for the World Baseball Classic. Bud, we hope you’re listening. Reduce the carbon footprint, beef up the roster and move the whole shebang to just before the All-Star game, for starters. That said, a big congrats to the repeaters, Japan, and Dice-K for his repeating MVP honors. That rocks.

Yes, the races in the NBA are exciting, and perhaps supremely disappointing for one Sir Shaq-A-Licious. But it’s the NHL that has us all a-tizz this week. We’d sell our houses to fund a smack-down between Don Cherry and Alex Ovechkin. The plaid and polka dots would FLY! Sean Avery could referee. Jeremy Roenick would be a great color guy, and we’d throw in Ron Duguay for a little ringside analysis, because when dreaming you pull out all the stops. It would be genius. The Cherry-Ovechkin bout would be as big as the Winter Classic. Bigger! We’ve said it once, twice…a thousand times…the NHL needs us.

And in this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID we marvel at the creativity of a budding artist who looked beyond the obvious to find his canvas. So grab your scrub brush, a can of Boddington’s and a ticket to Ford Field…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 25th, 2009 at 10:59 pm and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.