As we rise to the news that the Cowboys have cut Terrell Owens, it just begs the question: could he reunite with McNabb? They have texted and made up, traded barbs and traded compliments and generally acted as a couple who has gone through a rough patch (as do all QBs who have come into contact with Owens). And face it, the Eagles need a better decoy for DeSean Jackson than Hank Baskett and Jason Avant. Ok, it’s early, I’m still dreaming. Never gonna happen, right?

Awake now, bad dream is over. Covered in sweat. Owens is still unsigned. Phew!

Owens will still count for $9.5 million against the salary cap for Dallas. I guess no price is too much to pay when you have to fix a jealousy chemistry problem in your locker room. And I’m sure Jones didn’t want Owens’ reality show competing with his.

Episode 155

Trade Deadlines, Pole Dancing and Illegal Screens with The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from ACME Breastection Company where protecting breasts is their mission. Sadly, Sarah Blewden won’t need their products because the Amateur Boxing Association of England told her she would be unable to get in the ring with her purchased ‘girls’. Reason being, she might get injured. That really is an ‘Amateur’ decision. Maybe we just don’t get boxing. We thought injuring the opponent was the gig. Maybe we just don’t get England. Perhaps someone should send us there for the Olympics so we can study up.

In the mean time, we’re off to study up on a sport of a different nature: pole dancing! It’s been our lifelong dream, you know. It may be a wee bit late for us to learn the ropes, but at least we can watch the competition unfold when the US Pole Dance-off commences on March 15th. But chances are we’ll be entirely too busy wondering what the selection committee has in store for our brackets and following the World Baseball Classic to remember to get our pasties. There’s always next year. Plus, we’re pretty sure that this is how we’d look:

Back to the world of sport we go, and it’s sad this week. The tragedy involving Marquis Cooper, Corey
Smith, William Bleakley and Nick Schuyler has weighed heavily on our hearts. Sometimes Mother Nature is bigger and badder than the toughest NFL player. We still hope for miracles, and are thankful that Nick was rescued.

While nothing compares to the loss of life, Philadelphia is in mourning as well with the departure of Weapon X, Brian Dawkins.

The Man, The Myth, The Wolverine, The Legend will now play with the Denver Broncos. Where do you draw the line between fielding a winning team and loyalty to those who bring intangibles to the gridiron that aren’t measured in stats alone? No GPS can tell you the answer to that one. Matt Cassel hits KC, John Kitna goes where no sane man should and puts on the star, and Kurt Warner tries to keep the dream (and Matt Leinart’s nightmare) alive by offering to foot some of the bill for Anquan Boldin if the Cardinals sign him up. The NFL is abuzz with free agency, but the money’s not flowing so much, unless you count Haynesworth the newest $100 million-dollar-man. The lawyers of the victim he clipped in his speeding Ferrari have been apprised and are responding accordingly.

Is it a cyst? Dead bone? An abscess? Madonna? Who knows these days with A-Rod. We half expect him to take a swing and have his arm beat the ball over the wall. Really, when will the side effects start to show? Good thing they’re cleaning up the game because flying body parts would be kind of hard to explain to the kids. And it’s all about the kids. Also in this week’s sports podcast we get revved for the World Baseball Classic, wonder what network would be silly enough to greenlight the Jose Canseco ‘reality show’ and scold the Dodgers for bowing to the pressures of Manny and Scottie. Blech.

On the hard court we Fan-Tutor you in the illegal screen, give you a little Mark Cuban love, and spank Carmelo Anthony for his in-game transgression. Sir Marbury is holding his own (and his head) in Boston,
LeBron and Wade dazzle us with Mo Williams being the tipping point in a Cavs V. Heat showdown, and Greg “I am NOT Benjamin Button” Oden fails to convince us that he is ever going to be a productive NBA player. Which is sad, because we genuinely like the dude. But there’s something there that is a
touch ‘off’. This must just kill Blazers fans:

Our rookie look takes us to the Garden State as we honor Brook Lopez who is becoming a beacon of hope for the Nets. Even Yao doesn’t scare him.

The trade deadline in the NHL will have passed as of this recording, and if the past is any indicator, expect some serious action. The NHL is on the rise and The Girls have predicted its ascension since the first Winter Classic. It’s time for the country to realize what our good friends to the North have always known: hockey is high drama (Avery), high action (Ovechkin) and unpredictable (Crimin’ Chris Simon). Martin Broduer is inching closer to Patrick Roy’s record of 551 wins and Alexander Semin slams an 80-foot shot into the net to help the Caps defeat the Bruins in OT. Then you have the Nashville Predators beating the Red Wings 8-0. Nothing beats hockey in March except hockey, the NCAA tournament, the World Baseball Classic and the US Pole Dancing competition ALL happening in March. Seriously, who has time to work?

But never fear, The Girls are here to keep you dialed in. Finally, in this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID, the McVictim is a McIdiot. So grab your mullet, a copy of Spinal Tap and some cornstarch for that pole…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

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