The World Series delivered the goods! An incredible game of base stealing, psychological toying, and filthy, nasty, despicable pitching. Absolutely delicious. Which is exactly how this week’s podcast is going to taste to your ears.

Without further delay…

Except for this: The Girls are thrilled to be nominated for the Best Sports Podcast Award for the third year in a row. After winning the first time, getting all A-Rod about it the second year, we’re coming out swinging for 2008. But we can’t accomplish a thing unless you feel moved to vote. We’ll do whatever it takes to move you. Please vote here, daily, so we can wear a frilly sash on Award night!

Episode 138

Cowbells, Tackling Refs and World Series Predictions with The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from inside the mind of Wilbur Hackett, where he apparently experiences flashbacks when facing down quarterbacks just trying to do their job. Inadvertent? Not so much. He lowers his shoulder and levels South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia. That’s got to be weird - taken out by the ref??? The Girls think Roger Goodell should fine him, too. Seriously, there’s nothing inadvertent about this. And the SEC says he was defending hiimself…pulease.

Perhaps Wilbur’s been taking a little too much HGH? If so, he ought to talk to Jose Canseco, who’s so apologetic about revealing the names of those who juiced now that he has a new TV show to promote. We just want to know if it’s really that important to increase the size of his jewels now that years of steroid abuse has shrunk them to the size of, um, edamame. We haven’t seen them, so that’s just a guess.

Also in this week’s sports podcast we ponder the whole ‘open container’ thing in Joba Chamberlain’s DUI bust. He’s a pitcher. Couldn’t he have tossed it? Jeez. Big ouch for Kobe Bryant. Just the words hyper-extended knee make us hyperventilate. That will hurt, you betcha!

But his pain fades for us when we think of the amazing match up for this year’s World Series. Okay, so the DH rule is lame, and giving World Series rings to both teams seems so grade school, but for the first time in many years this series has the makings of a battle. Both teams have strong histories of stinking up the joint (not that joint, Ricky), each manager has his own endearing qualities (although we’re totally swayed by any guy who can talk wine with us), and the guys that take the field are truly respectable from top to bottom. There’s lots to love as the Phillies take on the Gamma Rays, but you all know for whom The Girls’ hearts beat. GO PHILLIES!

By the way, has anyone seen a two foot statue of William Penn? Comcast called and they want it back. That and a rubber duckie will get you far in the City of Brotherly Love.

For the record, The Girls will hurl with every mention of the following: jail for unruly fans, snowballs thrown at Santa, and booing Sarah Palin off the ice. Give. It. Up. And stop mailing it in, Media Kids. It’s starting to make us think you’re lazy. Notice in our award-winning podcast we don’t mention any of that, which is why we’re so fun.

Here’s our World Series primer: If the ball sticks you must acquit, whoops, we mean take two bases, if you see a cowbell shoot it, if Joe Maddon’s head is bobbing he’s listening to Springsteen, and when Brad Lidge comes in consider it a done deal, but you’ll have no fingernails left by the time he vacates the mound.

All The Girls ask for is NO SWEEP. Not even for the Phillies. If either team sweeps Bud Selig won’t have enough money for a new suit, and he desperately needs one.

Thanks to the Huffington Post for this fashion shot.

As the Boys of Summer take their final bows we wander on over to the NFL and pray to Lombardi that we don’t get fined. It seems breathing can land you a tariff these days. Somebody get Roger Goodell a girlfriend, please.

Let’s pause to reflect on this…Kerry Collins is the only unbeaten quarterback in the NFL. We now resume our regularly scheduled programming.

Kellen Winslow of the Cleveland Browns has been suspended one game (that means taking a hit in the wallet to the tune of almost a quarter mil) for telling the media that he had a staph infection. Kellen, anyone who might need to visit the Cleveland Clinic thanks you for your honesty. Why would the Browns want to hide the fact that they’ve had 6 staph infections diagnosed in the past 3 years? Um, because that’s a completely horrific statistic! Staph infections are potentially deadly, and if six people in your 60 person office came down with one over a 36 month period of time and then your boss tells you not to disclose your diagnosis to anyone, you’d be beyond tweaked. You’d think you were being written into a Stephen King novel.

The Girls hijacked the Fan-Tutor this week to rant about the absolute stupidity of the NFL rule regarding the challenging of a field goal by a coach. Are these guys drinking when they make this stuff up? Because not being able to challenge a kick when the ball rises higher than the uprights seems totally arse-backwards to us.

Oh, the Cowboys. This is where a little real world experience comes into play. Anyone who thought they were going all the way this year forgot about Jerry Jones, Wade Phillips, Tony Romo, Terrell Owens, and PacIdiot Jones. We can’t think of one organization that is SO dysfunctional ultimately winning it all. Let us know if you can. Seriously, even Joe Banner of the Philadelphia Eagles can see what a messed up organization it is. Trouble is, he has an organization of his own that may not be dysfunctional, but is certainly not functioning optimally.

Favre. You’ve got to let go. The Packers are still under your skin, meanwhile you’re less of a man to them. Stop behaving like a woman scorned. It’s so unbecoming it even makes your Wranglers look bad. Actually, they looked pretty bad to start. Not your fault though.

And in this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID, The Girls commiserate with a lonely man about the bad economy. Get his car detailed? Please, he only has a bike and an urge. So grab some quarters, put your name on a cup and cuddle up to your favorite mascot…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

We leave you with this little diddy that we love, but we hate what it spawned.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 23rd, 2008 at 10:15 am and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.