It’s that time again! A freshy for you. And a request from The Girls below. Listen in to this week’s podcast to learn what you can win if The Girls win the best sports podcast! You simply cannot live without this!

Episode 134

Twinkle Toes, Gadget Plays and Fatal Flaws with The Girls!

Today The Fantoo Girls are coming to you live from The Warren Sapp Experience, which is what ‘Dancing with the Stars’ USED to be called. He will steal the spotlight, and some food for sure, from the rest of the contestants. If he could spare a side of beef for Susan Lucci we’d appreciate it, because she may not make it to the finals without a snack or twenty.

FEED ME! FEED US!

But man can that man move. Never has a stomach on twigs been so smooth as it sails around the dance floor. We will watch in awe forever. However, this is a sports podcast, and as Robin has pointed out many a time, dancing - swim or otherwise - is not a sport. So, off we go to the NFL which gets the award for most drama out of the gate. The cherry on the drama played out on the field in Foxborough where the New England Patriots were clearly outfoxed SIX times by the Miami Dolphins who decided that Chad Pennington makes a nice decoy. The Girls beg for more trick plays, more freedom for the coaches to mix it up, and less focus on playing it safe. Give us the swinging gate, the fake spike! Why? Because it works more often than not.

Should the girls cry for Randy Moss or Lane Kiffin, both of whom are in Act II of their own drama, complete with plot twists neither expected? And what’s it like to be a Rams, Texans, Browns, Chiefs, Bengals or Lions fan? Assuming that the perks, like chicks and free booze, for those who can’t put a W in the books are not in line with those of, say, the Cowboys, we wonder how bad it really gets. Olive Garden bad? Or are they waiting in the line with us regular folks at Friendly’s?

Wow - Kendra even looks like the girl next door…in this pic!

Well, you can bet they aren’t dating one of Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriends. You too can have Playboy Bunny tail even if you are second-stringing it but with a winning team. Just ask Hank Baskett, who now knows that Philadelphia is so lacking in juicy celebrity fodder, his new BFF is making him a high-profile media target…for all the wrong reasons. Dude, don’t pull a Romo. Keep Kendra under wraps (we’re thinking a nice Donna Karan knit, size 0), win the Super Bowl, and then trot her out. She’ll be the Queen of the City. And since she gets the game, we will support her better than any bra she could find.

Before we leave the gridiron, we ponder Brady Quinn’s arrival, wonder about what could have kept Plaxico Burress away from The Meadowlands (insert Jersey joke here) and shudder at the possibility that Brian Griese is simply here to break hearts. Oh, and the taking of brains from the skulls of athletes? We shudder at that too. Our Fan-Tutor spells out the fumble rule in the NFL. Think you know it? We bet you don’t know the whole story…

Over on the Diamond the nights are getting chilly, the bullpens are getting tired, the rookies are keeping it hot as they experience their first Fall Ball, and Hank Steinbrenner has cried foul. The races are hot with the Twins and the White Sox squaring off for the whole can of mac and cheese, the Mets are channeling 2007, the Phillies are keeping alive the ‘we don’t deserve it’ mentality among the Philadelphia fans, all while the Angels kick it in style. The real question is how can we get Joe Torre and the Dodgers to the World Series? We’d empty our bank accounts (as long as the banks still have accounts to be emptied) to see the look on Hank Steinbrenner’s face if that were to happen.

Our Rookie Look takes us to ’sota where the Twins’ Denard Span lights our fire with his lead off batting prowess. Congrats ‘bro. Check’s in the mail. Tune in next week for our MLB predictions as the wild card races come to closure and the playoffs begin! And by predictions we don’t mean things you would ever want to wager on.

Cougars on Ice? Is that the name of the new Sean Avery movie? How do people do it? Hockey player snags internship at Vogue, his team doesn’t ridicule him till he eyes bleed, he excels, lands Kelly Klein (Huh? Wha?), and now a movie about his life is in production. And it’s a romantic comedy. The only thing left is to have him play himself. We will voluntarily commit ourselves if that happens. Have fun in Dallas, Sean! The 10 gallon hats rock!

Tim Donaghy is off to prison, Lance Armstrong is off to the races, Michael Vick’s mementos of his first born child are auctioned off, and - this is truly outrageous - Mike Golic’s son is caught drinking at college! And he’s UNDERAGE! Quick! Someone check the Rapture Index! Underage drinking at college? What’s next? Kids not going to class??? Oh, the calamity.

And in this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID, we take the law into our own hands. So grab your room temperature Schlitz, a girl, preferably from next door, and your dancing shoes…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

Finally, please nominate The Girls - not Hef’s girls, but us - for the best sports podcast. We thank you. The podcast thanks you. Really, the world at large thanks you. Nominations close September 30th so get crackin’ or we’ll hunt you down!

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 25th, 2008 at 10:52 am and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.