That is the question I ponder as The Girls take a little hiatus to drink in the Olympics, tolerate pre-season football, and cheer on the Boys of Summer as they turn for home. But if they should round third and promptly fall flat on their faces because base running is just too complicated, we will boo. As we should.

And now we have Jimmy Rollins of the Philadelphia Phillies, telling us that we shouldn’t boo athletes when their performance is poor, we should encourage them. That’s our job apparently. I never read the fine print on the back of my ticket. Shame on me. Here he is on the Best Damn Sports Show talking about the Philly fans…

Ouch.

Perhaps he could have been more clear and said, “They boo me because I don’t run out fly balls, I’m a shadow of my 2007 self, and I got lost going to Shea Stadium. And they’ll boo my teammates when they aren’t playing well. But when we succeed they cheer louder than any fans in the country.”

Don’t these guys have a filter? And given that he isn’t playing Little League and paying for the right, shouldn’t he be able to encourage himself?

Looks like he already has a phone-a-friend...

Front runners are people who don’t follow a team - or sport for that matter - but show up when the air sniffs of playoffs and the team is pulling away with the division lead. They laugh, they drink, they talk on their cell phones and they have to be reminded when and how to cheer.

Um, J-Roll, based on this criteria you are the front runner. Philadelphia is a city comprised of fans who don’t take short cuts and certainly don’t get lost on the way to the stadium, even if it is Shea.

On the gridiron, straight from the Commish himself, Roger Goodell, we are given another dose of constructive suggestions, I mean laws, as to how we should behave when attending NFL games. Should you resemble any of the behavior below you will lose your right to remain in the presence of high-priced concessions and high-priced athletes, high-priced seat license or not. (Drum roll…)

* Behavior that is unruly, disruptive, or illegal in nature
* Intoxication or other signs of alcohol impairment that results in irresponsible behavior
* Foul or abusive language or obscene gestures
* Interference with the progress of the game (including throwing objects onto the field)
* Failing to follow instructions of stadium personnel
* Verbal or physical harassment of opposing team fans

Me thinks there will be many empty seats at stadiums across the country if these rules are enforced. Sue me, but I’m starting to feel less valued as a fan. I’d rather Goodell’s rules of engagement went something like this:

* If team starts off 0-3 inanimate objects may be thrown onto the field of play during one of the many lengthy television time outs.
* If a team is accused of cheating all post-road game press conferences will be attended by home team fans first, then the media. Line forms at the locker room.
* When players get suspended for rules violations each season ticket holder gets a free beer for each game player is ineligible.
* If a team charges fans for personal seat licenses to raise money to construct a stadium that is too expensive to be financed by their own means, owners must share 5% of the revenues with PSL owners beginning in year 5 of the license. Free beer too. And maybe a home theater system.
* If a team that has charged for PSLs has a losing season three years in a row ownership must refund the cost of the PSL to the owner. And stand in the corner during home games. Again, inanimate objects may be thrown.

We look forward to pleasing you, our loyal fans, during the upcoming season.

Sincerely, your public servant,
Roger Goodell

Isn’t that much more appropriate?

So, my decision? If I can’t boo as creatively and passionately as this I’ll just stew in silence:

The Girls return from vacation with a riotous Monday show on SIRIUS Sports Central, Channel 123 from 1-3PM EST, but you can satisfy the itch tomorrow when last week’s show is replayed for your Sunday morning pleasure. Channel 122 from 11-1PM EST. Back with a freshy podcast next Thursday.

Maybe earlier, if you encourage us.

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 16th, 2008 at 10:45 pm and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.