The Girls appreciate your patience with our switch to a mightier and more fulfilling host. Hope the move wasn’t too hard on you. Still working out some kinks, and wiggy behavior on our site will be corrected post haste. We are full swing into summer and all the sports magic that brings. Plus, the Olympics are threatening to start any moment now: come rain, snow, locusts, green algae, earthquakes, floods and riots. The show must go on. Get ready to breathe it in.

Here’s the latest in a new format:
Episode 126

All-Stars, Manic Nut Jobs and NASA with The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from…THERAPY! No, it’s not a new Vegas nightclub, but rather a club for those athletes we used to love who have gone completely off the deep end. Charter member? #4 himself, Brett Favre. Contrary to popular belief, we did not spend the entire episode going all Kimbo Slice on Favre, but we do marvel at his ability to SPIN. It’s a fresh take on, “It’s not you, it’s me”. But, in this case, the whole drama is due to the actions, inactions and flip-flopping of a truly great quarterback. It IS you Brett. None of this would have happened without you. Just goes to show that sports is simply the canvas upon which humans play out their life choices. Some well, some in epically poor fashion.

The Girls agree with Favre lovers far and wide that he has accomplished more and and meant more to the franchise than most players can even dream about… Yet this off-season fakery, making a mockery out of retirement and the ambushing of Ted Thompson (regardless of what his past sins have been) has already screwed Favre out of his now-mythical and precious “legacy”. Take your Xanax and take it now, sir. We promise the sun will shine again in Green Bay and the NFL if you are not there.

Eyes a wellin'

We high tail it on out of there before he blames something on us and head over to the House that Ruth built. (and the one that Steinbrenner will tear down…we smell a curse for the ages). Take a good look at what was. The All-Star Experience was amazing, until the end of the 9th inning. We would have paid a pretty penny to see the look on Phillies manager Charlie Manuel’s face as he watched Lidge throw pitch, after pitch, after pitch…for warm-ups. All to give it up in the 15th.

Um, Bud, maybe you could repeal that brilliant decision of yours to have the All-Star game settle home field advantage for the World Series and just let it be a game of fun for nine innings total. Tie, shutout, whatever. End it in nine, please. And send home our men safe and sound from the mound. Greatest non-game moment? A Stealth bomber flying over Manhattan. How many people on the street cowered in fear, we wonder?

Hey, where was Tim Lincecum? Flu symptoms? Pu-lease. The Giants are just super smart and unwilling to risk their most valuable player. Kudos. Our Fan-Tutor keeps us on the diamond and rehashes Selig’s genius. And we congratulate Josh Hamilton for winning the Home Run Derby. He didn’t, you say? Oh yes he did! Why let silly little rules and elimination rounds get in the way. No offense to Justin Morneau (scorer of game-winning run), but upon final tally of home runs and distance, he was smoked.

Home Run Derby

And now we enter baseball’s final drive. Let the games begin.

Ah, games…makes us think of the Olympics. China isn’t the only Olympic host with disaster on the brain. Keep an eye on London as they try and clean up radioactive materials on the site of the 2012 Olympics. Why bother? We should just lighten up and let the good times glow. While on European soil, The Girls salute Brandon Jennings who flipped the bird to the NCAA and is gearing up to start his professional basketball career in Europe. We’ll keep you posted on his progress in future sports podcasts.

On the hard court stateside we get excited about the foreign flair that Mike D’Antoni is bringing to the Knicks. Forget the nonsense about his ’shoot first ask questions about how to play defense later’. He’ll play his guys like a violin, and the NY media like a tuba. It’s going to be great fun to watch it unfold. Five grand for charity in the Fraud in the Foam? Via Sikahema knocks over Jose Canseco (he must have been distracted by a bikini) and all he can muster is five grand? Wow. We’re glad we didn’t carve out time from our glamorous life for that one…we spare you too.

This year’s Tour de France hasn’t set our hearts on fire what with some guys still taking EPO. Another, Riccardo Ricco, announced today. Here’s a solution if you really want doping out of the sport:LIFE TIME BAN! Doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out. But please don’t ask Bud Selig his opinion. News flash! Kyle Busch wins again. Stretch. Yawn. Repeat. How did NASCAR become so irrelevant so fast? We blame The Chase. GO HYBRID! It’s the best idea since the invention of the wheel.

And in this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID we ponder how we too can be funded to the tune of billions and get away with making multi-million dollar mistakes that 9th grade science students would avoid. There must be a way. So grab your maple bat, your do-it-yourself rocket kit and some fresh mint from the garden for a frosty mojito…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

Phoenix Lander

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 17th, 2008 at 10:20 am and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.