The playoffs are here - NHL, NBA and possibly others - but who cares about them? The win-or-your-life brand of hockey has arrived and not-seen-till-now-defense style of NBA play will soon be gracing TV sets across the nation. It’s time to contact babysitters, straighten up the den/family room/other TV-watching space, prepare the nachos and margaritas, call over some friends and enjoy…

We have been scolded for starting off with some NFL, but seriously folks, does the NFL season ever really end? We get to the life-and-limb of the playoffs in due time. Plus, Robin is still coming down from a contact high after her Tuesday night Flyers hockey experience.

Please also note our contest for naming the young bull that Robin calved 2 weeks ago (for picture see last posting) is ongoing. The names thus far entered are below:

HanniBull
Spot
Bracket Buster
Barry B
iBull
Leonard
Future Menu Item
Go Rangers
Ringo Starr
Ferdinand
Heineken

Episode 115


Tasers, Gumbelisms, and Hot Hockey with The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from the ACME Board Game Co. where they are feverishly putting the finishing touches on Name that Gumbelism, the game we all want to get! Yes, sad to say, Bryant is leaving the NFL booth for pastures that will have him less tongue-tied. Now the NFL Network is really toast. He was brilliant - If you like a huge smattering of guffaws to go with your first downs, second periods and Rick Romos. Alas, we won’t be hearing ’shot clock’ during an NFL broadcast (gingerly wipes away a falling tear.) But the 2008 NFL schedule is here! Know what that means? Endless speculation on what the wins/losses will be for your team. Kind of like predicting the weather with a super-duper-mega-huge doppler radar system. Like that works.

Off to the diamond we go where we wish good health and a speedy recovery to Joba Chamberlain’s dad, Harlan. We are in awe of the beauty of that relationship. Speaking of relationships, it must be tough love that is on the menu for the Detroit Tigers. From favorites to cellar dwellers before the temperature breaks the freezing mark.

Thank goodness it’s “early”! And what about the man for which the Tampa Rays were named (or so we like to think), pitcher Al Reyes, who is the proud recipient of not one, but TWO tasers on the night of his 38th birthday. We aspire to such greatness. That’s what happens when you party at a bar that has pottery. Pottery. It will get you every time. Before we cross home plate in this Fantoo Girls sports podcast, we urge Prince Fielder to harvest a cow and get down to business, and wonder if the whole ‘jersey buried in the new Yankee Stadium’ was all for show.

Speaking of New York, there’s some well-fed people walking around, or doubled over, depending on how strong their digestive system is after the big all-you-can-eat at the Knicks final game. Perhaps Jim Dolan felt that if the fans mouths were full they couldn’t possibly let Isaiah Thomas know exactly how they feel after such a disastrous season. One can only imagine the odor wafting through Madison Square Garden after the half…

Those crazy teams in the West are sealing their fates and making basketball fans the world over swoon with delight. A Spurs V. Suns series in the first round? Wow. It doesn’t get any better than that. Oh, wait, it could get a lot better if the grand finale has the Lakers going sneak-to-sneak with the Celtics. The Girls would love that. And if David Stern loves it too then so it will be. Count on it. We would rather he focus on ridding the Seattle Supersonics of Aubrey McClendon, Tom Ward and Clay Bennett for being so outright dishonest (like many a college coach) when they said they had no desire to move the team to Oklahoma City. Priorities, Mr. Stern!

We’ve come to the conclusion that the playoffs in hockey are the best playoffs in any sport. There has been no shortage of action, drama, fights, amazing goals, penalty shots, and sadly, flopping. Alex Ovechkin needs a few hours with an acting coach as he is no thespian. A candidate for pairs ice dancing perhaps, but not acting. A dive in hockey should only be as follows - anything else is just soccer tomfoolery.

Now, Sean Avery? That man can ACT! But his form of self-expression is off limits in the NHL as they took all of about thirty seconds to approve a new rule - the ‘faceguarding rule’. The Devils are happy. And The Girls are happy that the Montreal Canadiens are spanking the Bruins. Nothing against Boston (um, are our noses growing?) but Canada deserves to be in the finals. It just makes hockey right. Speaking of making it right, thanks to divealanche.com, we have a picture to express perfectly our feelings about Peter Forsberg. Enjoy!

In this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID, we talk about something that is not right! It’s not even borderline okay. When the lights get low the camera should be stowed. So grab your face mask, your shatter-proof cup, and a thunder stick or ten…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 17th, 2008 at 9:36 am and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.