We cover a lot of ground in this latest effort, so without further ado…

Episode 114

Masters, Torches, Madness and Playoffs with The Girls!

Today The Girls are coming to you live from the set of another Fantoo Girls production - “And You Thought Roger Clemens Had A Drug Problem?” - where shooting (pun intended) has begun on the life story of Aaron Fike, the NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series driver who thought a little heroin on race day might just make going left a little more tolerable. Whoa. And he looks so innocent.

How is it that NASCAR doesn’t catch this in a drug test? That seems a little…um…IRRESPONSIBLE! We find his story very sad - addiction is no joke - and feel that people scrutinizing Roger Clemens should broaden their scope and look at the drugs that can do more than just damage the image of the sport. Kind of a miracle that no one was hurt on the track while Fike was ‘flying’ around the track.

As filming continues for this direct-to-iTunes masterpiece, we hustle on over to the gates at Augusta. Can’t get in. You know the drill. We’re chicks. Not to mention that our golfing is pitiful. But our knowledge of the mystery surrounding the beauty that is the Masters is pretty much dead on. So listen in. Also in this week’s Fantoo Girls sports podcast we dish on the mutiny brewing in the NFL, the mutiny brewing over the Olympics, the soon to be mutiny as Bill Self bolts Kansas for Oklahoma, trading one tornado for another, and Mutiny on the Bounty. Oh, wait, that’s our movie podcast, which we haven’t done yet. Our bad.

We are still speechless over the UNC defeat - if Kansas wasn’t the Harlem Globetrotters and UNC your local rec team then we are NOT in Kansas anymore. Talk about madness. While the Final Four entertained, the Championship game enthralled. But Jesse Jackson telling Derrick Rose to stop crying and that he looks pitiful? All we can say is, dude, not the time or the place for you. Sometimes, people just need to deal with the pressure on their own…

So the Red Sox have traveled the globe and still remain in the basement. That stings (But not as much as the premeditated hawk attack!). And Detroit has yet to put up a W. Leyland’s probably up to a pack an hour. The Mets and Phillies are at it again. Chase Utley gets beaned 3 times and takes one for the team to break up a double play. Phillies rain on the opening day parade at Shea. And Wagner goes off on the press. All is right in the world.

What’s not right is the dumbing down of our beloved language. So, The Girls give you some options to use in place of the word ‘filthy’ when describing a pitcher’s ’stuff’. While you’re at it, replace ’stuff’, too. Johnny Cueto of the Reds takes our Rookie Look this week. We know, it’s his first start and the Diamondbacks have no offense, whatever. The kid pitched well and deserves a once-over. And we’re just the girls to give it to him.

Finally, the playoffs are here in the NHL and mere moments away in the NBA. So, how is it in his free time Shaq has already found his way onto the Tempe police force? And what is with his fascination with the law? Can’t he just figure out how to shoot an uncontested shot from the foul line and make it??? The East is pretty set, and the West is in a state of unrest. Basically, it’s the opposite of real life. On ice we have the Penguins taking heat for tossing a game to insure they meet the Senators in the first round. Also being called are predictions that the Capitols V. Flyers series will get bloody - and with a juiced-up body like the Caps’ goon Donald Brashear (evidence below), is there any question that there will be gratuitous violence? Didn’t think so.

A prime match-up of the Rangers V. Devils rounds out the action and makes us cue Springsteen’s Jungleland…Two things hockey has over every other sport: playoff hockey is the most intense of any sport’s playoff and there isn’t a trophy that can hold a candle to the Stanley Cup. Period. So grab your mullet, burn your bracket and clean that green blazer…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 10th, 2008 at 11:17 am and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.