The Mitchell Report had its coming out party today via the spectacle that took place on a screen near you. Did ya getcha popcorn? Cuz if you did, you probably wasted half the bag pegging anyone who said ‘thank you’ more than once. That was my limit. I think my last one clocked in at 86 MPH.

At least we know our politicians have nice manners in public. And that they spent a significant amount of time (most of them anyway…a few were clearly trying to make it up as they went along) researching, conducting interviews, and reading…lots of reading…all to prepare for a hearing that couldn’t sniff out the truth. Oh, and most of them have a shrine to George Mitchell. And no matter what the topic, they just can’t seem to shake that party line. (Simply the most disturbing part of the entire affair.)

They did bring to light two very important issues; the potential for widespread steroid abuse among youth athletes, and the need for an investigation of the owners to attempt to assess whether or not they enabled the drug culture to thrive during the steroid era.

What the hearing didn’t do was determine who is telling the truth. Maybe the question should have been who is lying the most? Of those present in the room I would have to vote Brian McNamee. I felt the need to shower just looking at him. This is someone who is well on his way to a full-blown God Complex.

He’s a cop. He’s a mail order PhD. He’s a personal trainer. He’s a drug dealer. (As Congressman Shays so eloquently stated in one of the more entertaining exchanges of the afternoon. McNamee decided that fact fell under the definition of ‘opinion’. Hilarious.) He saved the life of a woman poolside at the Renaissance Vinoy Resort in October 2001 while traveling with the Yankees. (He ought to form a club with Drew Rosenhaus.) Some, as in pretty much everyone who reads the account, think he raped her after slipping her illegal drugs (GHB), traces of which were found in a water bottle near the pool and in her bloodstream. Now that’s evidence!

Yes, they were having sex when confronted by security after people heard her telling him ‘no’. The kicker? When confronted, McNamee didn’t stop. How’s that for a sign that something is seriously messed about this guy.

The woman had no memory of the incidents at the pool and stated to police that she did not give McNamee permission to have sex with her. There was also an empty beer can found at the scene. Apparently McNamee’s calling card.

Roger Clemens did his fair share of dancing in this marathon. But when I compare the deeds in question on both sides I wonder why McNamee isn’t the only fall guy and this isn’t in a court of law. Honestly, with all that has gone on in sports are we really going to get our collective panties in a knot over what amounts to an experimentation (not the full Bonds treatment) with (POTENTIALLY) performance enhancing substances? We’ll let a guy walk for the pretty picture I painted above, and then, on his word alone, attempt to destroy the name and career of the greatest pitcher in the game?

Granted, that Pettitte statement was pretty hard to ignore, but would it convict Roger Clemens in a court of law? And by the time that bomb was dropped it was overkill. Everybody and their Grandmother, literally, had Clemens’ picture center square in the steroid era’s Most Wanted poster.

Somewhere deep down inside Brian McNamee probably gets off on his role in this spectacle. But the joke’s on him. The Mitchell Report is a well-crafted and perfectly timed red herring. Who cares if Roger Clemens is telling the truth. All eyes are on him while the owners of MLB teams are setting their sights on another record-setting revenue year for their franchises.

At least Rep. Mark Souder had the sense to bring to light a conversation that McNamee had in 2000 with David Cone, the Yankees pitcher and player representative, during which Cone told McNamee that the owners didn’t want drug testing. Gee, I wonder why? (cha-ching)

So, I come back to my most pressing question: Were baseball players ever injected with steroids or HGH without their knowledge at the direction of someone from above? And was someone getting close to spilling that bag of league-crushing beans?

I hope I can answer those questions one day, but I’m still stuck on page 300 of the Mitchell Report. That ‘investigation’ conducted by a man who is the very definition of ‘fox in the hen house’.

I bet he’s only thinking of one thing right now - the health of Curt Schilling’s shoulder.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 13th, 2008 at 11:23 pm and is filed under Fantoo Blog Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.